Remembering 9/11

9/11 weighs heavy on me. I think because it happened just a few days after my oldest daughter was born. It shocked me out of that perfect, happy little world that every new mother enters and back into the real world. I have been thinking about the events of 9/11 for weeks now. Dreading the anniversary. Scared of what may happen, could happen, likely won't happen. I wanted to write a post that really expressed how I feel about that day but I couldn't. I can't think of anything to say about that day other than it was tragic. It was a display of hate that caused pain in the lives of millions that most of us will never experience. It left scars on our country that will never heal. It created fear and spread the very hate that created it. It was truly a tragic day. A day that we will never forget, nor should we. We should remember 9/11 and the people lost, not the hate that created it. The ones that did not come home. The workers that sacrificed themselves in an attempt to save others. The children that answered the phone only to hear that their family was taken away from them. We should remember the good, the selflessness, the willingness to comfort a complete stranger in the midst of chaos. That is what we should remember...not the evil.

As our entire country and millions of people around the world mourn the death and destruction created on this day 13 years ago, I sit here with a with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. A day that should be dedicated to remembering those lost and left behind is, instead, filled with dread and fear. My husband wanted to keep the kids home from school today. I didn't have to ask why. No one that remembers that day and has seen CNN in the past few weeks would have to ask why. I instantly replied, out of habit – without even thinking, that they have tests and can't be absent. Why should I be afraid to send them to school? We live in the middle of nowhere in little ole' Mississippi. We aren't exactly a huge target for terrorists. That's what I tell myself..on the days that these thoughts creep into my mind I tell myself there is no way that will happen here, not in my little town. Is that rational? The idea that nothing bad will happen to you and your family? That happens to other people, in bigger towns, in bigger states, in places that are more important. On the other hand, why not here? Why not attack where it is least expected. Our state houses a nuclear power plant and a major airport. Maybe we are a little more important than I thought. These thoughts come to mind at random. Any time I see a report of a shooting, kidnapping, murder, attack...these thoughts creep into my mind and I spend the remainder of the day convincing myself that we will never experience another 9/11. That is something that just doesn't happen twice.

Today we remember the nearly 3000 lives lost that day. We watch the news and pray that the rumors of ISIS planning an attack on the anniversary of 9/11 are just that...rumors. We will spend the day watching over our shoulders and breathe a sigh of relief when our families return home safely at the end of the day.

Most of us will never know what it means to experience terrorism first hand. I pray that we never witness another 9/11, especially on the anniversary of such a tragic event.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Every day I watch the news and every day I am depressed when it's over.  30 minutes of reports about murder, bombs and crime.  There is never a happy news day.  I understand that we need to be aware of events happening around the world BUT we also need to be aware of all of the good happening.  We need to broadcast the good deeds of others and hopefully restore some faith in mankind.  I'm tired of hearing about ISIS.  I just want a one day break from all of the negative to celebrate the good that is still out there.  So, I decided to share just a few heartwarming, happy, breaking stories.

Ted Bartling from Utah decided to donate his kidney to someone in need...a total stranger.  This man volunteered to have his organ cut out of his body to save the life of someone that he had never met.  He accepted the risk involved to perform a completely selfless act.  Doesn't get much better than that does it?  Well, grab you tissues cause it gets a whole lot better!  Three people needed a new kidney.  All 3 had people willing and ready to donate.  Unfortunately, they were not matches.  One patient was a 2 year old child.  I can't imagine how his parents felt being totally and completely helpless.  Well, now they are celebrating.  All 3 are celebrating!!  Mr Ted donated his kidney to Brandy Jess.  Brandy's friend wanted to donate but was not a match for Brandy, so she donated her kidney to that precious 2 year old baby.  The child's father then donated his kidney to Juan Romero!  Who knows if the other 2 donors would have done this if Mr Ted had not initiated this selfless act.  Probably not.  If it were my child I would be so busy trying to find a donor or treatment that I wouldn't have time to even consider donating my kidney to a stranger.  I would be by my child's side praying day and night, as I am sure this family was.  Thanks to one selfless act by one man, 3 people have a second shot at life.  He set into motion a series of events that I am sure he never expected. He is the reason that 3 people will be able to lead full lives.  He is the reason that a family will have many years to spoil their miracle baby.  This man is a hero.  He has changed the world.  Everyone does not know his name and many never will but there are now 3 families whose lives will never be the same because of him.

Chandler Lacefield, your average everyday 17 year old that enjoys cheering, running and fishing.  Her parents surprised her with a brand new shiny red Jeep as a graduation gift.  Sweet!  Her best friend MacKenzie wasn't as blessed.  Her mom couldn't afford to buy a car for her.  MacKenzie depended on her friends to help her with getting to work and practices when her mom was at work.  Well, Chandler had a great idea.  She spoke with her parents and decided to trade her brand new Jeep for 2 smaller vehicles.  She cares so much about her friend that she gave up her new car so she could get a car for her friend!  Not something most 17 years old would ever think of.  She was able to trade her Jeep and get a smaller vehicle for herself and one for her friend.  Her parents chipped in and helped her out a little.  I know that her parent's must be so proud of the person their daughter is becoming.  To do something so selfless at the age of 17 is a testament to the type of parents she has and proves that they are doing something right.  I hope she keeps this attitude and goes on to make even bigger changes in the lives of many.

Devon Still, I'm sure we all know that name.  His 4 year old daughter was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer over the summer.  He stayed by his daughter's during the off season.  Once the season began he received a phone call stating that since he was unable to devote his full attention to football he would be cut. Cruel right?  Fire a man that is trying to save his child, thats low.  No job or insurance and a very sick child.  What happened next has shocked the world.  The Bengals coach then informed Still that they would be resigning him to the practice squad.  This meant that he kept his insurance, he had a salary and he was able to devote his attention to helping his child.  They didn't have to do this.  They could have cut him and been through with him.  But they didn't, they did what they had to do and then they came up with a solution that let this player and every other player on the team know that they truly care.  They don't just see them as players that bring in the money.  They really care about them and their families.  Much respect for the entire Bengals family and many prayers for little Leah.

We don't have to change the world.  One kind act, no matter how small, can change the world for 1 person.  Theses acts did not create world peace, they changed the lives of very few people.  What if those people pay it forward and then those and so on?? One small act can change the heart of one person and by passing that on one small act can change the whole world.  Let's all try to do thing for someone else this week.  It doesn't have to be big, just one little act that shows people that we still care for each other. 

#selfless #payitforward #faithinhumanityrestored

#AppleEvent

The big day is finally here!  The Apple Event.  The Christmas Day of the tech world.  The day that people are glued to the television and internet waiting to see what the big secret is. 

I'm not impressed.  What more can a you expect from a phone?  We can already pay bills, control our home security system, program our refrigerator and television, crank  our vehicles, and 436 other things that just confuse me.  What is left?? 

I'm not into the tech world.  I don't get excited about the latest and greatest devices.  I suppose my age is catching up to me.  I miss the simplicity of texting and talking.  A day before your phone beeped and you grabbed it to see if you got a text, call, email, Facebook notification, Snapchat, Instagram, Google+ message or emergency notification.  There have been several occasions that I heard my phone go off and I have yet to figure out what it was.  I'm sure I have pissed someone off by ignoring them when the truth is I just can't figure out how to work it all.

So, as for the big surprise.  I have my guesses.  They are never as big as the hype surrounding them.  My predictions: a new IPhone that is 2/3 of a centimeter larger than the IPhone 5 and weighs 2 ounces more.  They probably moved a button over about 1/10th of an inch and added a camera that is a little better but not enough of a change that you can tell a difference in the photos.  As far as the big white box...I think it's full of balloons. 100's of balloons that they will release at the unveiling.

Seriously, I have no clue what's going to happen at the unveiling.  I didn't even know this was happening today until I heard about it on the news this morning.  Whatever it is, I'm sure that one of my kids will die if they don't get it the moment it is released.  Maybe Apple will surprise us all and release a new phone that puts all of the competition to shame.  I'm not sure what new features are left to add but if anyone can shock us it is Apple.

Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning?

Yesterday we attempted to celebrate the 13th birthday of my oldest daughter.  I didn't go as planned. We have a tradition that on everyone's actual birthday we have cake and they get to choose anything they want for dinner.  It's a time to celebrate their day with just our family and  without the chaos of a party with all of their friends.  We have a huge party, just never on their actual birthday. Well, I had the cake in the oven, the dinner on the stove and then BAM, power failure.  There were no storms and it was sunny out so I figured it was some little thing that would be fixed in a few minutes...nope it was a couple of hours.  We eventually loaded up the kids in the car because it only took a few minutes for the house to become ridiculously hot. We popped in a Sponge Bob DVD and headed out for burgers.  I can't help but believe that it being her 13th birthday had something to do with it. After all, 13 is the most dreaded and feared number. I was worried that the cake was going to be ruined but it wasn't.  Tonight I am going to attempt her birthday dinner again.  Fingers crossed no power outages. 

I've been lucky, so far there haven't been any major events around the kid's birthdays or holidays.  Nothing negative to associate with our major life events.  Except for her birthday.  The day after her birthday all I can think about is 9/11.  I remember exactly what I was doing that day.  I was laying in the bed with a sleeping week old baby.  I answered the phone and was told to turn on the news because a plane crashed into the World Trade Center.  As I watched the news I can remember asking myself what happened.  Mechanical failure, pilot error, sick flight crew, was the pilot drunk or stoned? Never did the idea of a terrorist attack cross my mind.  Then the unbelievable happened.  ANOTHER plan hit the World Trade Center, a plane hit the Pentagon, a plane crashed in a field.  I realized this was no coincidence but terrorism still never crossed my mind.  I tried to find, what I thought, could be a logical reason.  Were they all the same type of plane?  Maybe it was a defect.  Did they all leave the same airport?  Maybe there was a storm and planes were damaged without anyone realizing.  Maybe this was a coincidence.  A very tragic, scary coincidence. 

I lay there, an18 year old child, looking down at my new baby trying to figure out what was going on.  At that moment I never thought of the people involved.  The passengers on the planes, the workers in the trade centers, if there were any people in that part of the Pentagon..all I could think was what else is going to happen. 

I think terrorism never crossed my mind because I was still a kid.  I knew there were bad things in the world but I didn't realize how much evil there was. I  knew that there were wars but there was always a reason for them...not always a good reason but you could always say we went to war because...insert reason...  Little did I know I would be saying we went to war because someone managed to create unbelievable death and devastation on our soil.  Someone came to our home and attacked us. 

You learn about the Civil War, Vietnam and World Wars in school and think that is all in the past.  You don't expect to actually experience a war, at least I didn't..not a major war.  The most memorable events from my childhood were Desert Storm/Shield.  I remember them. I don't remember who, what where or when from my childhood.  I was just a kid.  I didn't think war was a big deal.  We sent some soldiers overseas, they handled the problem and then everyone came home.  Wow, it was nice being a kid.  The biggest event that I remember is the OJ Simpson chase.  I remember watching it on TV.  I remember laughing because the "high speed chase" was going at what seemed like 10mph.  I didn't know the story behind it or who he was.  I was just entertained watching the white Bronco slowly driving around.  Now I think back to that and wish that all police chases followed OJ's example.  I vaguely remember someone blowing up something but that was the actions of 1 mentally ill person.  There were also the Rodney King riots.  I remember seeing it on the news.  I didn't understand what happened...I was 10 years old.  All of the major events, that I remember, were isolated.  They didn't take years and years of hate to plan and they were not wide spread.  They didn't bring the entire country to their knees and create a fear that is still present to this day.  They didn't leave us fearful to leave our homes and they didn't result in our first response to any tragedy being a fear that it was another terrorist attack.

Once they began reporting that this was a terrorist attack I was even more confused. Terrorists don't come to the US.  Terrorism is something that happens in other, small countries.  Terrorism is when a small group of people take over small villages...it doesn't happen in large countries and it doesn't happen here.  Then my thoughts turned to how did this happen.  How were they able to get into our country?  How were they able to get control of 4 planes?  What did they do to force the pilots to do this?  Did they fly the planes themselves? How were they able to plan something this large without anyone finding out?  I was glued to the TV for days.  Every morning I woke up fearful of what was going to happen that day.  Worried that the next attack would be close to home.  I would tell myself, and I still do, they won't attack Mississippi..we don't have major cities, we aren't important...they have no reason to bother us.  I still worry every day that something bigger will happen. I now worry that ISIS is crossing the Mexican border.  Since hearing that Americans are fighting with ISIS I worry that there are Americans across the country working with ISIS and just waiting until they get their orders.  I worry that we will wake up one day to reports that smallpox, ebola or the plague are being used as weapons.  I believe there will be another terrorist attack.  I believe it is in our near future and I believe it will be worse that 9/11.

My children, my daughter especially, know what 9/11 is.  They know what terrorists are.  They know there is evil in this world and that evil tries to destroy everything good.  I hate that every year when her birthday comes around 9/11 is on everyone's mind.  I wish, for her, that her birthday wasn't the time of year that everyone remembers this tragedy and I pray that when she is an adult that the worst thing that happened during her childhood is 9/11.