Monday, September 29, 2014

Personal Life..They No Longer Exist

I'm sure we are all familiar with social media. I remember the beginning..My Space.  I loved My Space during it's day.  It wasn't for the social media reasons of today.  I liked playing with my page, making it pretty and changing out the songs on my page to fit my mood for that hour.  My Space was safe.  People posted pictures occasionally and quick messages about big events in their lives.  I think the majority of time on My Space was spent trying to make a profile that put everyone else's to shame. 

 And then things changed.  We woke up to the world of Facebook.  I can remember the day I opened my Facebook account.  My manager made an announcement that everyone in the company was required to create a Facebook and Twitter account and to have the apps on their phone to show customers how to use them.  Thinking back I realize that was to get people addicted to mobile apps so that they could increase the sale of smart phones.  I fought it.  I didn't want a Facebook page and I certainly did not want a Twitter page.  They were ugly.  No way to customize them..just a plain ugly page that looked identical to every other user's page.  I was not impressed. Eventually I was forced to give in and I entered the world of Facebook and Twitter.  I fought the overwhelming urge to post "I want to kick my boss in the throat" as my first post.  I found myself wanting to post that rather often, but I resisted the urge.  I could see what was coming and I warned everyone that I knew.  As Facebook began to grow I knew that eventually it would be used against every member.  And it has been.  It's not the fault of Facebook.  It's OUR fault.  We publicly rant, rave and complain about everything..we put it out there for the world to see without realizing the consequences.  I personally know people that have lost their jobs due to Facebook.  As I said, I often wanted to post how stupid my employer was but I knew better.  I knew that privacy setting were a joke and if someone really wanted to see your page they could find a way.  Now we have future employers checking Facebook pages before they even schedule an interview.  The drunken photo from 3 years ago could be the reason that you didn't receive a call. All of the things we went out of our way to hide during an interview are now proudly displayed for everyone to see and judge us by.  Next we have the TMI posts.  I post a lot of meaningless things on my personal page but I have never entered the world of TMI.  People, no one wants to know that you just pooped, what color it was or to see a picture to diagnose what condition have.  That's what WebMD was made for.  Use it and fight the urge to post your 476 possible conditions, all of which include something very very disgusting. 

We all know who Ray Rice is.  Some of us, me included, had no clue until his private life suddenly became public knowledge.  In case you have been lucky enough to live under a rock and miss the never ending media coverage I will give you a quick run down.  He was caught on camera beating the crap out of his then, girlfriend.  Since, he lost his job as a running back for the Baltimore Ravens.  I don't condone a man hitting a woman or a woman hitting a man except in the case of self defense.  I feel if a woman is bad enough to punch a man she is bad enough to get smacked back..and that works both ways.  If a man hits a woman she should find the biggest object in her house and knock him smack in the head with it.  We have a big issue with these crazy ass women beating the hell out of their men and it is taken as a joke because a man is man.  He is bigger and stronger so he should be able to defend himself.  Remove the fact that most men are raised to know that hitting a woman is the biggest sin of all.  They are viewed as weak and other men (and woman) find them less of a man because they took a beating and didn't hit her back.  I will never judge a man that knocks some crazy bitch off of him.  Like I said, if you can dish it out then you can take it. 

I don't believe that Ray Rice should have been fired because of this.  His now wife is defending him, saying that the media caused him to lose his job and she is right.  I think she is an idiot for staying with him and getting married after the incident but, she has a point.  This incident had nothing to do with his job.  The Ravens didn't lose any fans because he beat the hell out of his girlfriend.  It was horrible and in cases like this, regardless of if the woman wants to press charges, the state should.  The have enough evidence to convict him of domestic violence/assault and they should do just that.  But, back to my point, this happened in his personal life.  Not on the football field, not at a team sponsored event..this happened when he was off work during his personal time.  It should not have any weight in his professional life.  He is appealing this, which I agree he should do.  Just so I am clear..I think he is a pathetic, sorry excuse for a man and that he should be punished for what he did.  He needs anger management, he needs to learn respect for women and he needs to spend some time in jail thinking about the person that he is.  As far as his job, that's not a factor.  If firing people for their personal decisions becomes the norm then no one's job is safe.  Where does it stop?  People are being fired for things they post on Facebook.  That little harmless rant about your boss being a jackass just cost you your job. Should you really be fired for typing something that you say to your friends and family daily?  I don't think so. Employers justify it by saying that you are producing negative publicity that will affect the company.  Does it really? How often have you taken your business elsewhere because of a post that said "My company doesn't care about their employees.  A Saturday off would be nice occasionally"?  I'm sure that it is few and far between that a post actually causes any damage.  I can understand terminating an employee over something extreme such as saying they plan to burn the building down or bragging that they are stealing products. 

I know that beating a woman and ranting are not equal but they both do fall under choices made in our personal lives.  We have opened the door to allowing our employers to see our deepest, darkest secrets and by the time most people figure out why that is such a bad idea it's too late. We should have the right a personal life without worrying that it will cost us our job. At the most the company should be able to comment and dispute what you are saying, to share their view of the situation.  The NFL should have released a statement saying that they do not agree with or support the actions of their player and dropped it.  No suspension, no termination. They are not his mother or law enforcement and it is not their place to punish anyone's bad behavior.

This is just the beginning.  Social media has allowed businesses to monitor every aspect of an employee's personal life and to bring it into the workplace.  A person can not be fired for a disability but they can be for an opinion.  Whether or not we agree with their actions or opinion we should all be able to see that this is not something that we should happy about.

Figuring It Out As We Go does not condone domestic violence in any way.  If you or someone you know are the victim of domestic violence please seek help through your local authorities or domestic violence center.  No one, man or woman, should be fearful of their partner.  If you are or have been aggressive toward your partner please seek help through your physician.  There are programs available to help you control your anger and resist the urge to harm someone.  Figuring It Out As We go believes that all people, regardless of sex, are equal and deserve to be treated with respect.  All opinions are those of Figuring It Out As We Go and do not reflect the opinions of the site hosting this post.  We may be contacted at

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